Sex plays an important role in a marital relationship. It can also play an important role in why a marital relationship ends up in divorce as it is estimated that 1 in every 5 marriages, in the U.S., is sexless. If a sexless intimate relationship works for you and your partner, then carry on. However, if you are like the approximately 50 percent of persons who are not satisfied with their sex lives, then knowing how to negotiate for a fulfilling sex life is necessary.
So to avoid your marriage ending up on the chopping block in divorce court due to sex, here are a few things to consider in knowing how to negotiate.
Being in the know
Communication about sex, sexual preferences, fetishes and sexual difficulties can be the first step towards being able to negotiate with your partner. Such issues as frequency of sexual relations should be openly discussed. This discussion can be revisited as the situations and circumstances change, especially since sexual desire and intimacy can be affected by such things as medication, stress, hormones or even a busy schedule. This may not seem necessary in the early stages of your relationship as sex tends to be more spontaneous and frequent at that time. However, at about the one year mark the frequency is likely to decline and can lead to sexual issues beginning in the relationship.
It is, however, unfortunate that up to 14 percent of adults still feel uncomfortable about discussing sex while 5 percent do not discuss sex at all. Any changes that you need to happen in your sexual relationship should be a shared responsibility between you and your partner. That is more likely to come through open and candid communication.
Playing the bartering game
One of the problems with an imbalance in sexual relations between a couple is that sometimes one person ultimately feels that he or she is not getting enough sex while the other feels that the action is enough or too much. Since two thirds of men tend to have a higher sex drive than their female partners, men are usually the dissatisfied partner. However, women tend to take on the burden of housework with up to 32 hours a week being spent on home and childcare needs along with a job outside the home. Under those circumstances, it is likely that you may not be feeling up to being frisky with a husband or partner who did less than you in that department. So understanding how to share outside the bedroom might be a good way to get the sharing on in the bedroom as well.
However, you should be careful when instituting this type of negotiation of household duties in exchange for sexual favors as it can become a double edged sword with sexual expectations becoming a part of simply contributing to the comfort of your family. But if it makes it fun and helps to even out the imbalance, then go for it.
Fore more help on negotiating for sexual satisfaction, contact a marriage counselor from a clinic like ACC Arizona counseling.