If you're struggling in your personal life, or having doubts about decisions or the future, it may affect your marriage. But how do you know your marriage could be in trouble? How do you know you need marriage counseling? If you notice any of these 5 signs, contact a psychologist for help on your marriage:
1. Communication breaks down
Communication is the key to any healthy relationship. Without good communication, issues are difficult to resolve. Here are red flags that your communication isn't good:
- Communication is non-existent. You and your partner don't talk about issues at all.
- Communication is negative. You and your partner complain, make judgements, or put the other down.
- Communication is scary. You and your partner are fearful of being honest, especially about the little things.
2. Lack of physical intimacy
Sex isn't everything, and it shouldn't make or break a relationship. However, a lack of sex can be a big red flag that more serious problems are present within a marriage. Sex helps a couple express their love and emotional intimacy through physical intimacy. If there is no physical intimacy, this could indicate some of the following problems:
- Not feeling attractive or attracted to your partner
- Not feeling secure in the relationship
- Withholding sex as punishment
- Diminished emotional connection
3. Lack of emotional intimacy
Emotional intimacy is prevalent in a healthy marriage. You feel like you can talk to your spouse about anything, you trust each other, and you support one another in difficult times. A major indicator that emotional intimacy has diminished is the feeling that you live with a roommate or close friend rather than your spouse. This feeling may come about due to feeling like you can't talk about things, lacking passion, or not including your spouse in your activities.
4. Sweating the small stuff
If you or your spouse starts making a big deal out of little things, this may indicate deeper problems. Everyone has a bad day once in a while, but take notice if you or your partner frequently blows up over things they wouldn't before. The little issues can include arguing over the way laundry gets folded, the bed being made, or furniture getting rearranged.
5. Disagreeing about money
Throughout your marriage, you and your spouse agreed about money. The two of you likely discussed plans for your finances, savings, and budgets. It could be a problematic sign if, suddenly, you or your partner starts spending more money, racking up debt, or becoming more frugal, especially without talking to the other one. Disagreements about money could indicate disagreement about the future, priorities, and lifestyle.
These are five signs you need marriage counseling. If you notice any of these signs or have questions, contact a psychologist, such as Timothy D. Berry, Ph.D., today.